I wish it was that simple. A one page recipe for how, if, why, when, and what to adopt.
The idea started because of a friend...and a little girl's big eyes staring at us from a world away. Not to mention our little girl's eyes as she begged and begged again to "be a big sister."
We are not pregnant. We are not officially signed up (yet) to adopt. We are doing a lot of thinking, praying, researching, and talking. Our preliminary application was approved, meaning we can move forward...and now comes that thinking and praying. And fear. Oh so much fear. I cannot even begin to list all of them, but here are some of the biggies:
Can we afford it? It cost SO. MUCH. to adopt. Especially if you're thinking of adopting a child from another country. We would have to take a loan, fund-raise, look into grants...and that is just to bring the child home...what about after?
What about the one we know about in another country? Are we eligible? Will our agency work with hers?
What about HIV? Can we overcome stigmas in this country? Can we even handle it? What about our daughter? We're both educated, smart people...but it still scares the dickens out of us with respect to our little love. Does that make us bad people if we say "no special needs, no HIV?"
Can my heart take it? We've already sat and cried over information and pictures...and we haven't made any decisions.
There's no recipe for a happy family. I can't look into an ingredients list and see if we should stay 1 Mom, 1 Dad, and 1 Child. I know we are happy now. I am so proud of what we have accomplished together. Now we have some thinking to do about what we're presently cooking up in our minds. If you have some thoughts you would like to share on adoption, I would be happy to hear them.